40 WAYS TO ANNOY SOMEONE
40 WAYS TO ANNOY SOMEONE
1) Leave the copy machine set to
reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch
paper, 99 copies.
2) Sit in your yard and point a hair
dryer at passing cars to see if they
slow down.
3) Specify that your drive-thru order
is "to go".
4) If you have a glass eye, tap on it
with your pen while talking to others.
5) Sing along at the opera.
6) Insist on keeping your car
windshield wipers running in all
weather conditions, "to keep them
tuned up".
7) Reply to everything someone says
with, "That's what YOU think."
8) Practise making fax and modem
noises.
9) Highlight irrelevant material in
scientific papers and "cc" them to
your boss.
10) Say "gesundteit" to people who
don't sneeze. When they question you,
tell them that you foresaw a sneeze
coming.
11) Finish all your sentences with the
words, "In accordance with prophecy."
12 ) Signal that a conversation is over
by clamping your hands over your ears.
13) Disassemble your pen
and "accidentally" flip the cartridge
across the room.
14) Holler random numbers while
someone is counting.
15) Adjust the tint on your t.v. so
that all the people are green and
insist to others that you "like it
that way".
16) Staple papers in the middle of the
page.
17) Publicly investigate just how
slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18) Honk and wave to strangers.
19 ) Decline to be seated at a
restaurant and simply eat their
complimenta ry mints by the cash
register.
20) TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21 ) type only in lowercase.
22 ) don t use any punctuation either
23) Buy a large quantity of orange
traffic cones and re-route whole
streets.
24) Repeat the following conversation
a dozen times: "Do you hear
that?" "What?" "Nevermind, it's gone
now."
25) As much as possible, skip rather
than walk.
26) Any time a member of the opposite
sex tries to talk to you, hold your
hand up to prevent them from saying
anything and say, "Look, I know what
you're going to ask me... For the last
time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
27) Ask people what gender they are.
28) While making presentations,
oc casionally bob your head like a
parakeet.
29) While people are talking to you,
make a big display of looking up their
nose.
30) Stomp on little ketchup packets.
31) Go to a poetry recital and ask why
each poem doesn't rhyme.
32) Ask your co-workers mysterious
questi ons and then scribble the
answers in a notebook. Mutter
something about "psychological
pr ofiles".
33) Whenever someone finishes a
sentence say, "And then what happened?"
34 ) Name your dog "Dog."
35) Never break eye contact.
36) Never make eye contact.
37) On the public bus, keep asking the
driver nervously, "are we there yet?"
38) Walk up to random people and ask
them, very seriously, "Do you know the
muffin man?"
39)When ever anybody says anything to
you. Respond by saying, "I know."
40) Tell ur friends 4days prior that
you couldn't go to their party because
you're not in the mood.
